In the Top of the Mountains

Discoveries That Make Life Rich

2012-02-15T15:29:00.000-07:00

Farewell, Whitney

2012-02-12T19:02:00.006-07:00

My Dad brought your album home in 1985. I was in 5th grade. I thought you looked stunning on the album cover. And "How Will I Know" had me mesmerized by the first few opening chords.

And then I found out you were tall, had curly hair, and my family loved you. You were suddenly like the bigger sister I'd always wanted.

I spent the next five years of my life singing and dancing around my house to your music. Your tape a constant in my walkman. Your voice a household staple. Even today, it reminds me of sweet, fun times.

I lost touch with you around your whole The Bodyguard phase - your piece "I Will Always Love You" wasn't for me. I moved on - and unfortunately, so did you.

Your death hit me hard this week. You felt like an old friend passing away.

You were a rich part of my childhood, Whitney.

PS - I will confess only to you that whenever "How Will I Know" comes floating over my speakers, I almost always start singing - and if my kids aren't watching, my hips start swinging.

A Man's Road

2012-02-07T09:06:00.002-07:00

Last summer, Greg joined a 4x4 club at his work. It's a dangerous group. We're talking about 10-15 highly advanced, fanatical mechanical engineers. Men who are half crazed with power to disassemble anything they can get their hands on.

Buckle up.

Last weekend was their annual trek into the bitterly cold western wastelands of Utah and Nevada. Did I go? Heavens, no. But the boys were nearly packed and loaded in the car three days before they had to leave.

Walkie talkies, deli sandwiches, a ghost town, a bag of Mom's fresh chocolate chip cookies for the road, an abandoned mine, extreme man-stuff activities.

Who wouldn't want to go?

Me.

Daily Ethical Battles

2012-02-02T12:31:00.001-07:00

Keeping in mind how sensitive older brothers are about their toothbrushes...

Do I tell them where it's been today??

Greg's Smashed Sin

2012-01-31T12:39:00.000-07:00

Greg has a few great weaknesses.

This is one of them.

It's Smash Burger's Sin City Burger - and it's deadly.

Yep - that's a fried egg right there in the middle. And while the taste alone is close to committing gluttony, I can only manage 1 or 2 bites.

Greg on the other hand...he eats the entire thing. The whole tomato.

And then, without fail, he's sick for 2 days. Aching stomach, flu-like symptoms - a total 'Man's Cold' victim.

But when next month rolls around - he's ready for another one.

My Happiness Project

2012-01-21T09:17:00.001-07:00

This month I finished reading Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project.

She talked about being a mother of wonderful children, married to a fantastic husband, settled in a home, busy with career and routine and suddenly realizing she was NOT appreciating her life like she should. She was remarkably blessed and lucky, and yet she wondered why she wasn't blissfully happy on a daily basis.

This really resonated with me.

I adore my kids, head-over-heels for my husband. I love my faith. We live in a good country with food on the table and a little left over for activities. We're all healthy, etc. etc. etc. But I get so lost in the routine, the rush and the spit-up that I am lacking a daily awareness of my own happiness. This needs to change.

I don't want to look back at this time in my life 10 years from now and wish I had appreciated it more.

So here's My Happiness Project.

Borrowing some ideas from Gretchen, I decided to make a list of the things that make me the most happy. The caveat is these must be action items that only I am responsible for. For example, I am extremely happy when my kids love each other and get along. But I have learned I do not have total control over whether this happens or not.

So here is my list of Actions That Make Me Happy...

1. Super-squeeze hugs and kisses with my children.
2. Sleeping. Naps. More sleep in general.
3. Kissing and talking with my husband.
4. Making my kids laugh.
5. Accomplishing something visible. (cleaning a room, organizing a shelf, etc.)
6. Swimming or road biking.
7. A good conversation with a friend.
8. Reflecting on the sacred aspects of life.
9. Working in a line from Bill Cosby, Brian Regan or Homer Simpson into my daily thought process. ("Remember as far as anyone knows, we're a nice, normal family.")
10. Writing.
11. Going to a museum.
12. Hiking with my family.

My goal over the next month is to incorporate some of these items on a daily basis. Obviously I can't do all of them in one day, and some are more realistic during certain times of the year. But if I can get in at least 2 or 3 - I'm hoping for a more realized awareness of the happiness in me.

See you at the end of February...

Loving the Chub

2012-01-19T07:39:00.001-07:00

I love baby chub. And I have a special weakness for it in the arms and wrists - it makes me want to nibble away at them. It's the sweetest thing in the world.

And they lose it fast.

Big Guy lost his around age 3.

Sweetie's was pretty much gone by 2.

Pretty Girl lost hers this past year.

And Pirate is already ahead of his siblings.

I will always miss my chubby little ones...

The Odd Duck

2012-01-14T14:29:00.006-07:00

My Pretty Girl is doomed.

She will have to endure a mother who isn't into the cutesy, fairy, purse-shopping, perfect decorating, flawless appearance kind of thing. I don't fault women who are. I'll freely admit to envy. But I am failing in this "girly" area.

Failing because...there's a lot of reasons. Good reasons.

Case in point - yesterday Pretty Girl attended a birthday party for a little girl in her preschool class. When we got there, I realized with stark awareness that my daughter was the only one NOT wearing a tutu dress, she was the only one NOT with perfectly matched bows in her hair (and not a single strand out of place), she wore no glitter, no make-up and wasn't wearing jewelry.

Then there were the moms. After twenty minutes of non-stop talk of shopping locations, scarf accessorizing, fake eyelash extensions, and creative 5 minute make-at-home-crafts that for me would take hours, I wanted to crawl into a hole and hide.

You can't fault Pretty Girl.

Her mother's idea of accessorizing is a wedding ring, a watch and a pair of earings.

And doesn't anyone want to talk about the repercussions of France's credit rating drop this past week?

Plus, I'm not really crazy about make up on a 4yr old.

Like I said...Pretty Girl is doomed.

#83 of the Bad Mom's List

2012-01-06T20:36:00.011-07:00

Have you seen this stuff?

It's primo, liquid chocolate heaven!

My blessed, blessed parents had 3 canisters left over from "neighborhood gifts" and subsequently (as an afterthought) gave one to me and my brothers for Christmas.

They had no idea I'd been secretly salivating every week at Costco as I walked by the display. Deep down I really really really wanted one - but could never justify the price. Really.

And now I hoard it as my own secret stash and I cant let my kids see it! On cold days, I'm pulling out the Great Value hot chocolate tub while hiding the attractive, silver Starbucks canister in the back.

What's that cool-looking can Mom?

"Oh...that? Um...I think it's flour. The wheat kind. The kind you don't like."

Oh, yeah. That was awful. Never make that bread again Mom.

"You got it."

Christmas Wrap Up 2011

2012-01-02T13:01:00.000-07:00

In the overall grand scheme of your life, you guys probably wont remember most of the 2011 Christmas details.

Like your piano recitals.

Or how Mom made you do homework over the Christmas break.

The long, exhaustive car ride to St. George and back.

Or which gift you got from whom and when and how.

But I hope you'll remember the knitted hats from Grandma Carver more than the foosball table. And the late, late, late night games with cousins on New Years Eve. Your Aunt Laurel who has the best heart of anyone I know. And how excited you were to go mountain biking with Dad for your first time ever.

Most of all, try to remember the feelings on Christmas Eve with just our family - those peaceful, happy moments when our focus is Jesus Christ.

The Bigger Picture

2011-12-30T18:09:00.004-07:00

Our years living in Connecticut were made all the more sweet with frequent visits to Greg's parents mission - the Joseph Smith Birthplace in Sharon, Vermont.

Of all the stories and history we learned about Joseph Smith, this one is still our favorite.

Not many people know that Joseph Sr. and Lucy Mack (Joseph's parents) were fairly financially comfortable when they got married. When Joseph was about 8 yrs old (shortly after his famous fever and near amputation), things went downhill. After three straight years of crop/farm failure due to terrible weather conditions, Joseph Sr. gathered his family around him and asked them all to pray. He & Lucy had decided to give it one last shot - one final year. They would put all their resources, hopes and prayers into one last crack at turning things around.

If they failed, Joseph Sr. had read of a farming community about 100 miles west in a little town called Palmyra.

It was the WORST recorded winter in the history of Vermont. (still is to date)

This story always brings about a more fervent, humble attitude in the McKinnon household prayers and worship. We work to keep in mind that even the hardest of mountains and heartache will help us get to where Heavenly Father wants us to be.

(and Greg always likes to add, "if we could just NOT pass through total financial ruin to get there, we'd really appreciate it".)

Life Questions From a 1-yr Old

2011-12-21T07:46:00.001-07:00

Where did I come from?

What will I do with my life?

Where do I end up when it's all over?

That's my Mom.

The Thanksgiving Tree

2011-12-17T12:13:00.000-07:00

I have always wanted to do this.

This year, I finally did.

Every day of November (up until Thanksgiving) everybody added 1 leaf of gratitude to our family tree. The end result was beautiful.

We're so doing this again next year.

Early Litteracy Intervention

2011-12-14T09:47:00.000-07:00

Pretty Girl and Tact

2011-12-12T08:49:00.001-07:00

mom? Mom? MOM!? MMMMOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!

Pretty Girl, I'd love to talk to you when you have a nice voice.

MOM!!! Mom?...............mom?

Yes, dear?

Nobody is sharing their game with me downstairs.

Did you ask them nicely?

Um....yes. (lie)

Did you try to work out a plan?

Um...I don't know.

How about asking your brothers NICELY if maybe in 5 minutes you can have a turn.

Okaaaaay (starts to run away)

Wait! Wait. Remember, you have to ask nicely if you want to get what you want.

Okay. (disappears down the stairs) Guys! You need to share with me right now!

(Me resting my forehead in my hand.)

Behind Every Successful Child...

2011-12-08T20:44:00.001-07:00

...is one hard-working mother.

And every hard-working mother yearns for more sleep.

Dad

2011-12-03T08:47:00.005-07:00

This month my wonderful father turns 64. I have so many delightful, inspiring and sweet memories with him. Here are a few of my favorites.

-When you visit places with Dad, you need to experience it in the senses. So dont be afraid to taste the Everglades water, dig up some bones at Birkenau, climb up the closed-off Mayan ruin - just remember we don't have time to eat so keep moving

-"Are you dead? Good. You're going to school.

-Dad held me back in the chapel one Sunday to listen to Brother Lorin Wheelwright play the organ. I didn't know this was the man who penned, Mother, I Love You - amongst others. Dad pointed out how great this man was and how he wouldn't be around much longer (he died 6 months later).

-Driving us (slowly) through the projects/lower-income housing in San Francisco in an effort to drill the importance of education into our brains. My brothers and I hid deep down in the back of the car, screaming at Dad to drive away, praying nobody would murder our family. There had to be a better way.

-German pancakes, made-from-scatch eggnog and homemade maple syrup.

-To the delight of two happy toddlers, Dad was always obliging in singing the instrumental portion of Mary Poppins' Feed the Birds at bedtime.

-Two words - Sally's Doughnuts.

-"No Rae. For the last time, we're not stopping to visit Wittenberg,the town where Martin Luther nailed his famous theses on the door at Castle Church. Instead, we need to get to Straubing where my first pair of skis were made." Gah!!!

-Watching Dad attempt jump kicks in the air behind Riverside Country Club.

-Many, many midnight hours stretched across our Suburban headrest, keeping Dad awake on the never-ending drives to the LDS Los Angeles Mission Home (and back) where my grandparents were taking care of Mom.

-Priesthood blessings the night before a new school year started.

-Multiple phone calls trying to work out theology, dating, life decisions and my mother's death in my head. "Dad, how would you handle this...?"

-Driving at night through the seedy streets of Paris, hopelessly lost looking for our hotel (very wrong neighborhood) when Dad suddenly shouts out "Okay everyone get their heads down and don't look out the windows!"

-Grape Nuts in a bowl with 1 yogurt poured on top. Every morning.

-Our running joke of one day opening a theatre called, "A Theatre Near You".

-"Go get a pencil. Stop using a pen for math."

-Walking home with him on the streets of London from Moorfields during Christmas when we splurged on a packet of roasting chestnuts from a sidewalk vendor. We ended up spitting them out in a Tube station 1 block later. Worst thing ever.

-Burnt-almond fudge milk shakes at the hospital snack bar.

-A warm welcomed hug after the one night I missed curfew. He was angry the next morning and I really got it. But hugs came first.

-Study, study, study. "Did you get that? Are you understanding this? Good. Let's do another one." Sigh!

-Deep snowy winters, Ernest Hemmingway, feeding the horses, fishing and bike riding in Ketchum, Idaho.

-"I think most people will be forgiven. But it's the kind of person you won't become and the people that wont be helped (and who you'll be held responsible for) if you chose otherwise."

Hoopes Gravy

2011-11-24T08:20:00.005-07:00

I'm not sure the origin of the Hoopes gravy. We think it started with Grandpa Hoopes' mother, Mae Eastman.

Mae's mother (Ann Harris) immigrated from Wales and settled in Brigham City. She ran a boarding house and Mae grew up cooking for all the patrons. Experts tend to agree this is where the miracle took place - although it very well could have happened with Ann back in Wales.

Sadly, I have wasted away my life never taking the pains to learn this excellent, mouth-watering gravy. Even more unfortunate, there's only 1 person left who knows how to make the gravy. My sweet Aunt Claudia.

(shown here with Our Sweetie, 2006)

So for this Thanksgiving dinner, I buckled in, made sure relatives could watch my kids for a few minutes, and I took careful, careful notes on this signature, nostalgic dish.

Here it is.

HOOPES GRAVY

1st pan -
Turkey Giblets
2 bay leaves
1/2 C sliced onions
2 celery sticks sliced
2 cloves of garlic - smashed

Boil turkey giblets in chicken broth and a little water (enough to cover giblets). Strain out everything and keep the broth. The giblets will smell SO bad...

If making potatoes, reserve 1-2 cups potato water.

Take turkey drippings and simmer in roasting pan (or regular pan) on high with giblet broth and potato water. Mix up a thick paste of flour and water in a large cup (consistency of glue). Add to the drippings and create a basic white sauce. In true Hoopes fashion, you'll need to put in loads of salt.

PS - In case you ever question if you've made too much, please refer to my Grandpa's own dinner table (look at the large bowl in the center) to understand you can never make enough of this gravy. Enjoy.

(Pictured from the front of the table back left - Claudia, Katie (Mom), Richard and Virginia (Grandma))

Where My Thoughts Have Been

2011-11-20T14:53:00.003-07:00

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray,
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

-Dylan Thomas-

The Great Outdoors

2011-11-10T18:21:00.000-07:00

This year's hunting excursion helped teach the boys some key survival skills.

#1 - Hiking AROUND the lake will take 4 times as long as you expect.

#2 - If you don't kill a deer, you have to kill something else.

#3 - When you're lost, mountain tops all look the same.

#4 - Real men don't need Plan A.

Its the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

2011-11-03T06:45:00.000-06:00

The Intervention of Angels

2011-10-30T19:55:00.003-06:00

Two weeks ago Pretty Girl's life was miraculously spared.

Our family was attending a local Halloween event. After unloading all the kids from the car, I rounded the back to pull out supplies. As I reached the back of the car, I realized not all the kids had stayed on the side of the road (next to the car) as we ALWAYS instruct them to do.

Pretty Girl was standing in the middle of the road, lovingly staring off across the street at the festivities. She was blissfully unaware of the car four feet behind her that had just come to a sudden halt.

I didn't sleep well most of last week. Lots of turning and self loathing and a million ways I could have prevented this. Many thoughts telling me, "You have too many children!" "How do you expect to be a good mother if you cannot watch them all?" and most prominently, "This is your fault. You should have been there. You failed."

The driver of the car turned out to be a distant neighbor. When I talked to her later, she told me in the moments before the near-crash, she felt an unknown slap come from behind her head and a direct voice that made her look to the side of the road where Pretty Girl was standing with her brothers. The voice told her to pay attention - at which point Pretty Girl walked right into the road.

I have no answers for why some children are spared and some are not. But I know our days and years are numbered from an eternal, solemn perspective. And if Pretty Girl still has more work to do and more to teach her parents, then there could also be hope of God's confidence in my abilities as a mother.

The Wrath of the Applesauce Maker

2011-10-28T16:17:00.000-06:00

The Consultant

2011-10-25T15:29:00.001-06:00

Last year my son hired a consultant to keep him motivated while doing his homework.

This year the consultant hasn't been following the plan.

I don't think we'll be hiring him next year.

Resolution #973

2011-10-22T07:27:00.000-06:00

Spend more afternoons like this.

The Kids Best Music, Top 5

2011-10-18T11:15:00.001-06:00

In the McKinnon household, music tastes run up and down the charts. Fortunately our family comes together over a few albums everyone agrees on. When these pieces start floating over the sound waves, the singing of little voices together is music to my ears.

#1 - The Beatles, 1

This album is our number one family album. Everyone is happy when this CD starts to play. And we all have our personal favorite song;

Dad - We Can Work It Out
Mom - Paperback Writer
Big Guy - Yellow Submarine
Sweetie - Hello Goodbye
Pretty Girl - She Loves You
Pirate - Get Back (the "Jo-Jo" song)

#2 - Michael Jackson, Thriller

Never underestimate the power of Beat It to a pair of young boys going to a soccer game. Or the dancing moves that emerge to Don't Stop Till You Get Enough. We all love this album.

#3 - Hans Zimmer & James Howard - The Dark Knight

We still don't understand how our kids are so crazy about music for a movie they have never seen. The kids unanimously request this album at least 1x a week.

#4 - Strong Bad - Strong Bad Sings

No, this isn't a joke. We just like Homestar Runner that much. And PS - we're lip syncing "Dangerous" at our next New Years Eve Party with Greg's family. All we need are some "cool, cool glasses".

#5 - Rodgers & Hammerstein - The Sound of Music

The kids aren't fans of Climb Every Mountain or the song when the Captain falls in love with Maria ("Ewwww! Mom, can you please forward this one??") - but they cheer every other song on this album.

Runners Up

Leslie Bricusse & Anthony Newley - Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory

Yep. Oompa Loompa songs make our house a happier place.

Green Thumbs

2011-10-14T08:56:00.002-06:00

All of us experienced jaw-dropping moments this past summer while watching the flower pots change. Seriously. The boys did an amazing job.

They're already dreaming of what to grow next spring...

This Just Feels Wrong

2011-10-09T10:23:00.000-06:00

As previously confessed on this blog, I love playing video games with my kids. We're Wii Sport connoisseurs. I haven't met a bowling ball or racket I didn't like.

Except boxing.

Punching a computerized representation of my child just feels completely wrong. Like I'm taking my energy out in the wrong place. And then there's the whole dilemna of the child punching the parent. And what about sibling punching sibling? Is this right? Does this encourage peace within the family?

And PS - my arms are sore.

Poetry

2011-10-05T08:33:00.003-06:00

I love poetry. Honestly. I love poetry. Whatever work of fiction/non-fiction sits at my bedside table there is almost always a companion of poetry lying next to it.

Poetry is good for walking.

You can read the stanzas in a rhythm as you walk. And when you glance up to watch your path, the mind can digest each phrase. These days I have zero time for this type of activity. And I can't take my books of poetry into a lap pool or on my road bike.

My favorite poem - and it has always been my favorite - comes from this man.

And at least once a week I find myself quietly whispering lines...

I grow old...I grow old...
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.

Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?
I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.
I have heard the mermaids singing each to each.

I do not think they will sing to me.

Occasionally I read poetry to my children at bedtime (in between Harry Potter & Roald Dahl). They're not crazy about most of it - but I still manage to sneak it in every so often.

They will tolerate Ben Jonson and occasionally Edgar Allan Poe. They hate Keats. And they don't know it yet, but Shakespeare is coming...

In the meantime, they delight most in the prose of Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout and the one who cannot go to school today, named little Peggy Ann McKay.

"I Repeat...You Are Not In Direct Competition With Each Other"

2011-09-30T09:59:00.003-06:00

...except this week they were.

We knew from the beginning of the season this game would be a blowout. Our Big Guy's team is very good. How could Our Sweetie's team possibly compete with an already well-established, older grade, bigger team? Vegas had predicted slaughter and sibling disaster.

They were wrong.

We watched both boys take hits for the other. We were stunned when they backed off their defense when a goal was in range. And when our Big Guy rolled to the ground at one point, Our Sweetie hovered next to him while keeping his team back.

Wish they got along this way all the time.

It was a beautiful game!

The Young Composer

2011-09-25T10:47:00.001-06:00

Our Big Guy is now 1 month into piano. And he's almost fluent in those classic pieces - School Days, The Hummingbird, Old MacDonald Had a Farm , etc.

But I can always tell when he starts drifting away from his assigned music into his own compositions. There's usually a pause, the notes go deeper and deeper down the scale. And then he really gets into the rhythm and the emotion of his piece.

We call it, Variation on a Theme of Jaws.

It's brilliant! But most of us can only take brilliance for about 5 minutes (maybe less). And then it's back to the ol' scales.

Nobody appreciates genius during it's lifetime.

Sneak Peak

2011-09-22T13:58:00.000-06:00

This year it's official. Everyone looks MUCH better than Mom.

Sweet Snapshots of Fatherhood

2011-09-18T17:02:00.000-06:00

PS - Yes, that's the Odysseus bow in the background. We'll never be throwing that out.

Our Last Summer Hike

2011-09-14T20:37:00.001-06:00

(Warning...cell phone pictures again)

The highly anticipated, long-awaited hike of the summer was enjoyed by all...

...except for this one.

Remembering Those Who Fought Back

2011-09-11T19:52:00.004-06:00

Explaining 9/11 over the weekend to my children was fascinating.

Pirate and Pretty Girl might have well been the same age for how much attention they gave to the photos, the explanations and video.

Our Sweetie's interest lasted longer. He was keen on how he could take out the "bad guys" and all the technical aspects surrounding revenge.

Our Big Guy was intrigued by the logistics - the where and how survivors were found. He was the one who sat in awe at my brother's excellent 9/11 memorial where a rescue firefighter spoke to the crowd. He also put his arms around me when I started to cry while explaining Flight 93 and the phone calls and the people who fought back. (I don't do well with that one)

People like the one listed below were hardest to think about.

There was one last person I wanted to find. Lauren was pregnant on the flight. Her story is listed here - it's a wonderful piece.

3 First Days of School

2011-09-07T21:05:00.000-06:00

This year 3 of my children attended a new school. (Pirate is still being home-schooled) And it just happened to work out that all 3 of them started on a different day.

3 first days of school.

So instead of 1 day of head-rubbing stress, biting nails, thoughts on teachers, constant prayers on behalf of my children, their safety, safety with friends and happiness in school... I got to do 3 days.

Thankfully, all 3 days are now over. (and went really well!)

Artistic Overload

2011-09-05T11:17:00.002-06:00

There are days I get lost in the numbers. I just don't have the mental energy to keep everything straight - including members of my immediate family. This became glaringly obvious last week when Our Sweetie brought me a detailed drawing of our family.

Look Mom! It's our family.

That looks nice Sweetie, but you drew too many people.

No. Mom. I didn't. Look Mom, count them.

(we start counting the figures - starting with Dad...)

Holy Cow! You're right. That's too many people!

The Best Music, Top 5

2011-08-31T21:35:00.006-06:00

I'm not advocating the whole album. Just the song.

#1 - Indigo Girls, Closer to Fine.

This is quite possibly the most perfect song ever written. And every time I listen to it I feel like it was made just for me. If an artist could ever look into my soul and write about what was inside, Closer to Fine would be the most accurate.

#2 - Shawn Colvin, Steady On

Spending the evening at a friend's cabin in Sundance in 1997 - she put Shawn Colvin on her surround sound system. My life suddenly became sweeter. This was the first song I heard and while the lyrics don't directly relate to my life anymore, I still adore this piece and the whole momentum behind it.

Three months later the song was my pleasant companion as I drove in my old Trooper to Washington DC for a summer internship. Watching the picturesque fields of Iowa and the huge bridges over the Mississippi while listening to Steady On made a lasting impact.

#3 - Lynyrd Skynyrd, Sweet Home Alabama

I hope they have this song in the next life. It's too joyful to leave behind. They sing about Alabama, but I think about the Blue Ridge Mountains.

#4 - Luciano Pavarotti, Nessum Dorma

I actually have a small love affair going on with this song. And it has nothing to do with the lyrics - which frankly are fluff. This song is all about Pavarotti. I've heard several different renditions, other artists. It's just not the same.

And if you happen to stumble across me while I'm listening to the final 30 seconds, please don't bother me. That's my happy moment.

#5 - Martika, Love Thy Will be Done

This song always brings me back to the right focus and calms my hectic run-around - esp in the evening hours when dishes are everywhere from dinner, we're all traveling to opposite directions for the kids activities, somebody somewhere is usually crying or upset with someone else and I didn't get the chance to vacuum the family room like I planned.

This song helps me remember to breathe.

Runners Up

Tracy Chapman, The Promise

If I could have a conversation with my mother, the lyrics here come pretty close to what I would say.

The Morning After

2011-08-29T08:51:00.001-06:00

After a night spent in new-founded 4-yr old revelry, Pretty Girl was looking quite pleased with herself this morning.

Summer Highlights 2011

2011-08-24T20:45:00.001-06:00

My Favorite Things

2011-08-20T12:51:00.001-06:00

(Beware...low quality cell phone pictures posted below)

Rodgers & Hammerstein's Sound of Music was playing at the Sundance theatre and my handsome date had to cancel.

Fortunately, I had an excellent replacement...

The evening was full of my favorite things.

My brother was a hit with his impromptu "Edelweiss". I couldn't stop smiling when my son & I started singing "Do-Re-Mi" together softly during the play. And I loved watching my father get emotional when Mother Abbess sang "Climb Every Mountain."

And the suckers were delicious.

(except my date insisted on finishing mine after he had already eaten his own)

Thank you Mom & Dad.

For Greg

2011-08-18T15:44:00.003-06:00

Because you love Mr. Ron Paul so much.

And most times I have to admit he's very good.

"There goes crazy Uncle Ron..."

The Daily Show
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School Starts Next Week!

2011-08-14T08:53:00.002-06:00

Time for a little happy dance.

...they have no idea.

Jordanelle Quadrathlon

2011-08-10T07:10:00.000-06:00

Sexy Greg

Not-So-Sexy Me.

Our Cheer Squad

And the boy who leaked all over his clothes on the way home.

Swimming Polar Opposites

2011-08-07T08:24:00.001-06:00

This summer marks the end of swimming lessons for Our Big Guy and Sweetie. They're fish. They love it. We're considering swim team in the spring.

This one's a whole different story.

The Mr. Men Books

2011-08-03T07:41:00.001-06:00

Do you remember the Mr. Men books from long ago??

We still read them - frequently.

And we each have a designated character.

Big Guy is Mr. Strong (self appointed), Sweetie is Mr. Giggles (not self appointed) and the kids think I'm Little Miss Forgetful. It's a toss up between Little Miss Annoying and Little Miss Bossy for Pretty Girl. And none of us can decide who Dad is.

But there's one person in our family we all agree with.

Our Pirate is Mr. Happy

And we're positive he'll never change. Never.

Top 5 Childrens Books

2011-07-31T08:55:00.000-06:00

#1 - Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown

Obvious one. I can recite this book backwards. My kids can recite this book backwards. And yet we still love reading it together. There is something quietly soul-soothing about saying goodnight to noises everywhere.

#2 - Blueberries for Sal by Robert McCloskey

Part of what bounds me to this book is my earliest memories of picking blueberries with my mother in Washington. And then remembering my parents looking through this book with me. My kids are wild about the bear mix up and the delicious cravings they get for blueberries.

#3 - Make Way for Ducklings by Robert McCloskey

Our family has a tender spot in our heart for the Boston Public Gardens. It's difficult to go wrong when you're reading about baby ducks and the feeding of ducks with little kids.

#4 - An Apple To Eat or Cross The Street by Sam Q. Weissman

Not a lot of people know about this one. It delights my children constantly. I'll bet you didn't know a banana can be a sleeping bag, and a spoon can be a school of tadpoles.

#5 - A Special Day For Mommy by Dan Andreasen

My kids can't figure out why Mom laughs so hard every time we read the story together. One day, they'll get it.

Runner Up

The Little Mouse, The Red Ripe Strawberry and the Big Hungry Bear by Don & Audrey Wood

Want to make your kids laugh non-stop?? When you get to the page where the strawberry is wearing the Groucho Marx glasses, pretend you can't find the strawberry. No matter how much evidence they give you, insist that it's a person at the table - not a berry.

Pretty Girl and Marriage

2011-07-27T13:28:00.008-06:00

We run a house full of testosterone - with occasional slivers of estrogen poisoning. So conversations about dream weddings and handsome princes are rare.

The boys understand the basics. Someday they will get married...after their mission, in a temple, with a girl, etc. etc.

That's enough for now.

Because girls are "girly" and they ride bikes too slow.

(except Mom...)

So when the subject of marriage was brought up last week, Pretty Girl's face went deathly pale. Not only will she marry someday, but she must marry....a boy??

A boy...like her brothers.

Oh, the horror!

She crossed her arms and declared her eternal spinsterhood. When I explained all the fun things that happen in marriage and families she relented and compromised with the only person she would ever think of spending the rest of her life with.

Lucy.

Favorite girl cousin, Lucy.

We're not going to push this topic for awhile.

13 Years

2011-07-24T09:39:00.000-06:00

(My sweet husband - you get Homer this year.)

One of my favorite books is Homer's The Odyssey. The scene I adore most comes at the end - when Odysseus arrives home to a house full of immoral, evil men trying to take his clever wife Penelope. He comes back disguised as an old man in rags.

Then comes the bow.

Penelope decides whoever can string Odysseus' powerful bow will win her hand. Odysseus' young son tries, several of the suitors try - none of them can do it.

Finally Odysseus stands up and lifts the bow.

But the man skilled in all ways of contending,
satisfied by the great bow's look and heft,
like a musician, like a harper, when
with quiet hand upon his instrument
he draws between his thumb and forefinger
a sweet new string upon a peg: so effortlessly
Odysseus in one motion strung the bow.
Then slid his right hand down the cord and plucked it,
so the taut gut vibrating hummed and sang a swallow's note.

In the hushed hall it smote the suitors
and all their faces changed. Then Zeus thundered
overhead, one loud crack for a sign.
And Odysseus...He picked one ready arrow from his table
where it lay bare: the rest were waiting still
in the quiver for the young men's turn to come.
He nocked it, let it rest across the handgrip,
and drew the string and grooved butt of the arrow,
aiming from where he sat upon the stool.

Now flashed arrow from twanging bow clean as a whistle
through every socket ring, and grazed not one,
to thud with heavy brazen head beyond.

(The Odyssey, Book XXI, Robert Fitzgerald translation)

In the early months of dating Greg, on the outdoor deck of his parents cabin, I found myself admiring a rather large, green hunting bow. It was massive and heavy. I tried several times - with sincere effort - to pull back the string.

Alas.

Then Greg stepped up.

Taking the bow easily into his arms, he grabbed the string with two fingers, angled it down and then straight forward as he easily brought the cord back to hold tight.

And then the sun broke through the clouds over us.

I was breathless, I was flustered and blushing.

I had found my Odysseus.

Orange Jello

2011-07-20T07:31:00.003-06:00

My son is obsessed with orange jello.

I get this. Jello was a favorite item in my youth. It was the first dish I learned how to make and our Big Guy always begs to help make some. If only boiling water was not involved...

Lime is his second favorite.

I'd rather have any other flavor than lime.

The Ethics of Honesty

2011-07-17T08:33:00.009-06:00

Our Sweetie is a fish.

Swimming across the pool is simple. Multiple jumps off the high dive are easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy (his words, not mine).

So you can imagine our outrage when the local lifeguard informed Greg that Our Sweetie could not jump off any diving boards or swim across the pool without me next to him because he is FIVE.

Five. Not six.

I understand the anti-litigation, bureaucratic procedures, but I don't like them. A competency clause should exist.

At least we think it should.

And so being the amazing, forthright parents that we are, Greg and I took Our Sweetie aside before the next swimming excursion and told him to tell the lifeguards he's six.

I knew I was in trouble before the words finished coming out of my mouth.

Our Sweetie looked at us in astonishment. We were telling him to lie? Isn't that wrong? Haven't we always taught our children to tell the truth and be good examples for siblings and others?

Greg and I had dug ourselves into one seriously deep hole.

In the end Our Sweetie couldn't do it. He was fine waiting to jump off the diving board until next summer when he's six. He felt more comfortable being honest and obeying the rules.

This is bound to come out in some future testimony or primary-talk-comment-moment down the line. About how his parents are terrible, dishonest people who needed a five-yr old to set them straight.

The sides of this hole are looking pretty steep.

The Divine Things That Matter Most

2011-07-11T07:32:00.002-06:00

I love this clip.

I definitely relate to the woman in the rain. The one who debates putting aside email/computer/work/break time and goes outside with her children.

Makes me want to be a better mom.

Why I Can't Vaccum Much These Days

2011-07-10T10:12:00.009-06:00

Failed New Adaptations

2011-07-05T13:15:00.003-06:00

Over 5 large piles of laundry this week, I finally got the chance to watch the latest Emma.

And when I say "latest" - it means I'm about 3 years behind.

It was...okay. Mr. & Mrs. Elton were a definite highlight. But I can whole-heartedly say I like this Emma 100x better.

Same goes for the latest Jane Eyre. The dialogue is beautiful and Jane herself is quite good.

But this one is still better.

And while we're on this subject, let's pause for a moment for the greatest movie of all time -

By the way - this is a terrible cover. A&E made some colossal errors here.

For starters - who the heck is in that carriage?? I'm not sure, but it's definitely not any characters from the movie. Did the shot just look regent-era so they threw it up there?

And it makes me cringe to look at the photo-shopped, blend-into-the-green view of Mr. Darcy. What part-time, uneducated staffer was saddled with this job?

Grrrr.....

Courage

2011-07-02T08:58:00.003-06:00

Behold...the face of STEEL!

Followed by the face of FEAR!

A Fashion Statement

2011-06-30T09:09:00.004-06:00

There is no question amongst our children that Our Big Guy is the most industrious. The most loyal and hardest worker. He is bound to be a strong leader, an entrepreneur, or quite possibly an engineer.

Or a whale trainer (according to him).

In the meantime, he is fascinated with the logistics of building, planning, selection of tools, etc.

And he is his father's shadow.

If only I could convince him not to wear white while working.

The White Swan

2011-06-26T20:28:00.002-06:00

Pretty Girl - sometimes that "little voice" is your mom.

Every girl, young and old, has to face her own reflection
Twirl around, stare it down, what's the mirror gonna say?
"With some luck, you'll measure up.
But you might not hold a candle to the rest.
Is that your best?"
Says the mirror to the mess.

But there's a whisper in the noise
Can you hear a little voice?
And it says..

Has anybody told you, you're beautiful!
You might agree if you could see what I see
Because everything about you is incredible!
You should have seen me smile the day that I made you
Beautiful!
For me.

-Nichole Nordeman, Beautiful For Me-

Two Fathers

2011-06-23T18:05:00.023-06:00

This year I pay tribute to the two fathers in my life.

#1 - This one gave me life.

He teaches me patience, perseverance and above all, forgiveness. He has shown me true sacrifice and endurance and what you must bring to your own personal alter to become like Jesus Christ.

He's rejoiced with me in my successes. Cried with me in my failures.

He's urged me on multiple bad days of self introspection to stay strong and have courage. After a brutal freshman final, he reminded me that mountains must be scaled - no matter what path I chose. And the night my best friend left across the world for 2 years, my dad let me curl up next to him and bawl my eyes out for a few hours.

#2 - This one gave me his life.

Of all the decisions I have ever made - or will make - in my life, marrying this man was the best one.

He calms and reasons with the upset little boy. He reasures the dramatic drama queen that her concerns are always valid. And when days are short and free time non-existent, he coaches little league and reshuffles his schedule to be in the needed audience.

The most joyous time of the day is when he walks through the door.

We love him. We lean on him constantly. He carries the weight of our family on strong shoulders that never seem to shake or falter.

Happy Fathers Day to the sweet fathers in my life!

First Official Day of Summer...

2011-06-21T16:59:00.011-06:00

...and not a customer in sight.

Oh, wait. I see one! I see one!

LEMONADE!! LEMONADE!! 25 CENTS!!

..............

We need a new plan.

The Ripples of Loss

2011-06-18T12:29:00.016-06:00

Last summer a beautiful, young mother was killed while road biking. The spot where she was hit is located 2 blocks from where I swim in the early dawn hours. And I've biked that length of road many times.

I haven't biked it since.

She was killed in those AM hours. I drove past the spot roughly 10 minutes before it happened, which means I passed her - without any knowledge - as she biked towards the final minutes of her life.

Morbid, I know.

I found out about the crash 2 hours later when my brother frantically called me at home. The story was already breaking on the morning commute and he was worried the un-named road biker was me.

Police reports say she was doing everything right. She was biking with friends and had her helmet on correctly. The driver crashed into the middle of the group - swerving to miss hitting a girl coming the opposite way who was answering a text and had veered too far into the other lane.

She left behind 2 baby girls - one 4 months old, the other 3.

I think about her every time I get on my bike.

Every time - like this morning as I crept quietly through my house, clipless shoes in one hand and helmet in the other, careful not to rouse my babies upstairs - a brief thought hits if I'm coming back. If maybe this is my last moment with my children.

I say a lot more prayers on my bike than I ever have before.

And I didn't even know her.

Life isn't meant to be lived in fear. But every so often you start to wonder if events around you are warning calls as opposed to random, horrific accidents.

She haunts me.

Our First Baptism

2011-06-15T09:15:00.005-06:00

The pictures are hiding a very hectic morning with last minute ironing, polishing and frantic rushing to get loaded in the car. If you look close, you can see a child who decided to throw a grumpy fit right before the baptism. And someone in the photo still needs to lose 15 pounds.

And while the pictures might show some of the amazing joy and peace we felt throughout the day. Or the happiness our Big Guy felt weeks leading up to his baptism. Photos can never adequately capture family moments like when we got home - where both kids and parents collapsed on Mom & Dad's bed to simply be together for most of the afternoon. These are days for rejoicing!

Oh, the joy!

My sweet sister-in-law tells me that once your oldest is baptized, the rest start flying like dominos. I have a scary feeling she might be right.

Even the coldest spring...

2011-06-13T21:19:00.004-06:00

...eventually ends.

The Great Compromise of Books and Movies

2011-06-10T08:16:00.006-06:00

To My Darling Children,

Ever since Tuesday evening, life has been a bit anxious. That was the evening we finished reading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. You all loved it, you ate up every chapter, you've made drawings of the characters and we've talked so many times about the good and evil sides to the story.

I wish you were this fascinated with the Gospel.

And up until this book, we have enjoyed three wonderful, popcorn-filled evenings huddled together watching the Harry Potter movies after finishing the respective book.

But now comes the problem.

From here on out - as we have talked about - the movies become PG-13. And as you know, in our family, we don't watch those shows until you turn 13. In fact, you know there are lots of PG-13 shows we don't watch period. Many, many of these will be up to your personal discretion and we pray you chose wisely when the time comes.

Aside from the scary moments, the situations that you're not ready to jump into yet, and the basic fact that following Hollywood standards is like buying expired meat from Mexico - you have a sweetness about you right now that is slowly depleting - even without watching these movies. You will never have this again - never be like this again. And as your mother, I'd like to make this a more hallowed time as opposed to what society would rather do to you instead.

So here's my deal. And because you know how much your mother adores a good book discussion. I will let you watch the Harry Potter movies (and for that matter - the Lord of the Rings movies). But you must READ THE BOOK FIRST.

By yourself alone.

After you are done, we will have a lively, spirited discussion on character development, plot, how it relates to your life and your goals, etc. I want to know what you loved about these books as well as what you hated, and if it changed any way you perceive life around you.

Yep - I know. You're not thrilled about reading books that advanced on your own. I know you can't right now. It's all part of the wisdom of this plan. It could in fact buy me a few more years post age 13 when you can finally watch the movies. Or it might motivate you to start reading earlier. Either way, it's a good ending.

And then - I'll provide tons and tons of popcorn, loads of candy and soda.

And hopefully you'll let me watch with you.

Love,

Mom

PS - May I suggest somewhere along the way to try reading Gone With the Wind and Pride and Prejudice?? You wont be able to top those film adaptations.

Time for Planting

2011-06-07T09:33:00.009-06:00

Last year, our Big Guy pulled a discarded perennial plant from the trash, dug up some soil from the yard, found an old pot in our shed and tended the plant all summer long. By September he had a gigantic, beautiful spread of flowers.

I decided if he can do that with 1 perennial, just think of what he can do with some serious supplies.

Hence our new McKinnon tradition...

Pretty Girl is too young - but the boys will each be responsible for planting and maintaining a large, beautiful pot this year on our back porch.

If this goes well, I have big garden plans for next year...

A Little Perspective

2011-06-01T11:50:00.012-06:00

This fall marks 3 years since we left the Gold Coast to come west. Time to look at a few "before" and "after" pictures of our yard. Remember it was abandoned, overgrown, dead and so very sad when we found it.

And this was on a good day...

And now an even better day...

PS - try to ignore that garden section in the rear with the sawdust and wood piles. For the sake of my young, energetic, digging-crazed boys, that's staying put for now.

Old Friends

2011-05-24T15:22:00.020-06:00

The year I turned 16 was one of the best years of my life.

My family moved for 1 year to Charlottesville, Virginia so my Dad could specialize further in his field at the University of Virginia.

Living there saved me - in so many ways.

That was the year I discovered TS Eliot, Zelda Fitzgerald, Thoreau, and Indigo Girl's Closer to Fine. I was pushed harder - physically and mentally than I ever had before with school and swimming. I had to defend my beliefs - frequently - which made my faith more poignant and real. And I learned there is a unique smell to the humidity along the Blue Ridge Mountains - a smell I have come to love - and it hasn't changed in the 4 times I've been back.

But the best part of all, I met some sweet people who have kept me close.

Last week I got to see one of them.

Alex and I met in AP US History & Honors English. I didn't realize until about 2 months in that we lived 4 houses apart. Alex made me laugh and think. He questioned everything I wrote, talked about and thought the entire year. And when I was ready to pull my hair out, he'd let me play basketball with him in his backyard. He also procrastinated more than anyone I had ever met - and still he was brilliant.

4 years later he was unbelievably nice enough to let me stay with him and his family in Athens for a week. Did I mention he speaks multiple languages? He graduated with his MA from Harvard and just finished his PhD at Berkley. Again - brilliant.

I haven't seen him in 10 years.

But this past week he and his beautiful wife Chrissie were here for a conference.

It was so good to catch up.

What Do You Do During a Thunderstorm?

2011-05-17T09:16:00.002-06:00

You grab your brother and build a make-shift fort on the deck. And then you scare yourself silly listening to the thunder and watching the flashes.

That's totally what I would do.

Talks With My Children

2011-05-13T12:15:00.001-06:00

So I've had the pornography talk with my kids. The kidnapping and abuse talk. We've done a simplified "birds and the bees" talk. And we've covered in-depth the dangers of the stove, the oven - and to a lesser degree - hitting and running away.

It just never crossed my mind to have the treadmill talk with my kids...

One ER visit and a late-night scare in the regional burn unit later - I'm a wiser mother.

Have you had the treadmill talk with your kids yet?? You really should.

Happy Mothers Day

2011-05-11T09:34:00.008-06:00

I love Mothers Day.

Not because of the recognition. I'm in it for the hugs. I'm crazy about little arms that squeeze my neck and sweet shouts of joy waking me up in the morning declaring, "We love you Mommy!" And then I get to balance plates full of food on my lap while the troops wait with baited breath for me to open presents and cautiously ask if they can have a piece of my bacon and maybe some juice.

And then of course, I get lots of these on Mothers Day. I love these things...

The Slowest Dishwasher Unloader...

2011-05-03T12:24:00.007-06:00

...in the history of dishwashers.

Whenever it's Pretty Girl's week to unload the dishwasher, there is a collective groan throughout the house.

She goes slow. Very, very slow.

She likes to sing to the spoons, test out the knives and talk to the forks. And always, always, always - takes 1 at a time to the drawer.

We're lucky if we have enough clean silverware by dinner.

1 down.

18 more to go.

July, July, July.....

2011-04-27T20:44:00.006-06:00

The brief flash you see of the final battle between Belatrix and Molly looks so amazing!!!

Molly is one of my favorites - her vengeance resonates with my mother bear instincts.

Cannot wait....

Oh, and the music!! Wow.

A Little Ayn Rand Before the Movie

2011-04-27T16:35:00.005-06:00

Man's mind is his basic tool of survival. Life is given to him,
survival is not. His body is given to him, its sustenance is not.
His mind is given to him, its content is not. To remain alive, he
must act, and before he can act he must know the nature and
purpose of his action...To remain alive, he must think.

-John Galt, Atlas Shrugged-

(I have to admit Dagny is not exactly as I pictured her. But still good.)

Eggs Amongst Gobblins & Arches

2011-04-24T09:40:00.021-06:00

We spent Spring Break in Southern Utah with our good friends Shayne & Lea and Doug & Tiff.

We kept it simple & real. Very real.

Big Guy almost fell off a cliff face in Arches. Pretty Girl bit the dust 4 times on a .2 mile hike (yes, point 2 miles - not 2 miles). Sweetie got hit in the head with a rock by a very cute deceptively innocent 2yr old. And Pirate decided he didn't like the baby carrier or the backpack and cried non-stop the final mile hike back to the car.

Fortunately, the simple outweighed the real.

One museum visit, a few hikes, planting Easter eggs around stone goblins, lots of swimming time, showing the kids some amazing petroglyphs, one captivating geyser, and beautiful views.

We want to go back next year. (without the "real" part)

Oh, the Shame!

2011-04-19T13:36:00.012-06:00

Our darling, clever neighbor provided the clothing. Mom did the manual labor.

Pirate was just confused.

(Shhhh...don't tell Greg about this photo.)

"Hey Mom! Take My Picture With the Baby!"

2011-04-03T16:47:00.007-06:00

Our Sweetie must get this side from his Dad.

I was never this un-inhibited.

Snow, Snow, Snow

2011-03-28T13:07:00.010-06:00

The Marshmallow Test

2011-03-21T18:25:00.008-06:00

For Family Night this week we first conducted the "Marshmallow Test".

After which we we watched the posted video below.

We had mixed results.

Sweet Sixteen!

2011-03-20T07:40:00.006-06:00

Our family's caught "Jimmer"-mania.

One Year Ago Today...

2011-03-17T17:13:00.007-06:00

I was kind of freaking out. Greg was once again the calm, insightful husband - he knew one more had been waiting.

We didn't tell anyone for months.

Maybe we should've named him Patrick.

The Warmth of a Big Sister

2011-03-12T13:40:00.004-07:00

I always wanted an older sister. I was envious of my friends who had one. Someone to tell me how to act, what classes to take, how to dress, who to avoid, etc.

Our Pirate is going to be so lucky.

Confessions of a Video Game Junkie

2011-02-26T15:41:00.004-07:00

It's time to come clean.

I absolutely love playing video games.

And I especially love playing them with my kids. Sadly, we played for 2 hours straight the other day. (remind me to sit on a pillow next time...)

Most of the game was spent making up silly songs whenever Mario would float into "coin heaven", a couple of tickling-wrestling matches emerged in-between bowling turns, and we ended up scaring Pirate a couple times with our uncontrolled screaming when we "died".

Experts say video games are horribly destructive for young minds.

We're doomed.

Books My Kids Love

2011-02-22T20:33:00.006-07:00

Have you seen these books?

They are the Elephant & Piggie series by Mo Willems. And my children adore them. Willems has an impressive history of writing - including several years on Sesame Street in the late 80s and early 90s.

(you know...back when Sesame Street was still brilliant and funny)

My kids love the illustrations and the dialogue. And if you ham up the voices - do a deep voice for the elephant and a high-pitched voice for Piggie - it's quite hilarious.

Lots and lots of laughing.

Showing The Love

2011-02-16T08:34:00.009-07:00

Valentines Eve was rough with Our Pirate. Maybe 2 hours of sleep. So it was all the more sweet when I found these the next morning.

Pirate and Mom were sooooo happy.

Sweetie's response to this particular gift, "Mom, I don't remember promising that one."

Atlas Shrugged, Part I

2011-02-12T15:01:00.008-07:00

I have no idea if this will be good.

But it's the first film adaptation of Dagny Taggert. And if Our Pirate had been a girl, she would have been my Dagny.

I'm Still Not Used to This

2011-02-11T07:45:00.003-07:00

The other evening I came home from driving Our Big Guy to karate class. I came inside the house suddenly feeling 10 pounds lighter, swinging my arms free, dropping my keys carelessly into the bowl, watching Pretty Girl hurry upstairs to get her blanket.

I mentally went through my list.

Greg will be picking up Big Guy in 1 hour.
Sweetie is downstairs watching Ben 10.
Pretty Girl is happy upstairs.

Excellent. We're all good. Maybe I can actually sit down and check email. And a nap is looking really plausible right now. Then it hits me...I'm forgetting something...

The Pirate is still in his car seat. In the car.

He was fine. Mom wasn't.

A Flood is Coming...

2011-02-09T09:51:00.007-07:00

...and my kids are ready.

This is Our Sweetie's longest pair of pants. And even though Mom keeps trying to get him to low-ride - just a bit - it doesn't last. He likes to pull them up. Way up.

Several inches above his belly button.

Gah! I'm alone in a sea of short and big pants.

This feels really uncomfortable. And I'm not even wearing the pants.

Yucky Times

2011-01-26T07:15:00.004-07:00

You know when you're feeding a newborn and you hear the blowout?

You know you can't change them RIGHT THEN and THERE because they're still in the middle of eating.

And then...you know that horrible feeling when your hand that cradles their backside starts to get slightly wet and you realize you'll be doing laundry shortly?

That happened to us today...4 times.

Where We Started, (Part 3 of 3)

2011-01-20T19:37:00.000-07:00

Dating the boy was a lesson in patience. Because he went slow. Painfully slow. And nothing felt official. Did he really like me? Were we seriously doing this "dating" thing? I could never tell.

We'd been seeing each other for 3 months. And by the end of the 3rd month he'd held my hand...twice.

I was giddy over that alone.

I was also melting because standing in front of me almost every weekend evening was the most amazing, strong, handsome boy and the boy would not kiss me.

We were close friends by now. Maybe this was all just a platonic thing for him. And maybe I could be in a relationship without physical affection. Maybe.

Thankfully, the evening did come. A beautiful, warm evening with tons of stars and music playing in my head. He had taken my hands, pulled me close, leaned down and kissed me. It was sweet and perfect and thrilling and everything I had been dreaming about for months. And then I turned around and walked straight into a door. It was that good.

Fortunately he didn't see that part.

At last we'd kissed! And life was sunshine and lollypops and happy dances. And the next weekend couldn't come fast enough - where I was eagerly anticipating an encore of the previous date. And then to my complete astonishment... nothing happened! Zero kisses. No hand-holding. Zip.

Another month of dating followed. No kisses.

What the heck was wrong with this guy?!?!

So now it was obvious. He clearly didn't like kisses - or maybe just my kisses. But the problem was, I liked kissing. And I especially liked his kisses and I wanted more of them.

Finally one night I'd had enough. We were out walking around campus. He was talking, I was stewing. I wasn't taking this "slow" garbage anymore. This boy was going to kiss me, or I was calling the whole thing off.

That was when he looked at me and asked. "What do you feel like doing tonight?"

How to explain this? "I don't think you want to know."

"Come on. Tell me."

Would I dare? Could I be this bold? I had never done anything this forward in my life. But I was going to find out - once and for all - if the boy was serious about me. Taking a deep breath, I told him to close his eyes.

And then I pounced on him. And kissed him with everything I had.

Apparently the move worked because within seconds of my kiss he grabbed me and started kissing me back.

We didn't leave that spot for a good hour.

I never had to initiate many kisses after that. They followed frequently...and abundantly. Turns out he was very serious.

We had started...us.

Where We Started, (Part 2 of 3)

2011-01-16T07:35:00.007-07:00

After 1 year away from the immature boy, I moved back.

Back to the swim team room.

I was dreading seeing him. Would we repeat all the exhausting, obnoxious interactions we had gone through before? My initial hopes of him dropping team were dashed when I realized he'd been training all summer to break 2 school records. No matter how much I disliked him, I couldn't deny that the boy could swim. He was good. Very good.

But the moment the boy finally appeared in the room, everything changed. One year had transformed him into...something else. Gone was the lanky, thin boy. He was tall, broad shoulders, sharp face, strong arms and when he looked at me with clear green eyes and said, "Hey Rachael" in the nicest, deepest voice...

...everything changed...

But nothing happened. The fireworks had gone off, the light switch was flipped, bridges were mended. But nothing happened. I was kind of seeing someone else and I was pretty sure he was interested in another girl.

Nothing happened.

Except the boy and I started talking. A lot. We were swim team captains. So we had to talk, we had to plan, we had to spend time together. A comfortable friendship developed. Yes, he was amazingly good looking, but for years the boy had seen me in a swim cap, goggles with 5:00 AM breath. Love would never blossom under these conditions.

Towards the end of the year we went on 2 group dates together. 2 dates with A LOT of other people. And this other girl on the swim team really liked him. Plus I didn't want him to know that I was already in the habit of leaving my AP English class right when the bell rang so I could make it to hallway A before he crossed hallway B so we would pass each other. He smiled and said hello to me every time.

Sigh...

Graduation was weeks away. We lived on opposite sides of the city. Sure, we were both going to Brigham Young University - along with 24,998 other students - terrible odds when you want to "accidently" run into someone.

Turns out my stealth work and scheming was all for nothing. 3 weeks after graduation he called to ask me out.

Finally.

It's Too Early For This...

2011-01-14T07:49:00.007-07:00

This morning over pancakes Our Sweetie looked up at me and asked,

"Mom, how did you and Daddy make the baby?"

Oh gee...

Where We Started, (Part 1 of 3)

2011-01-11T08:17:00.023-07:00

Once upon a time...

(Warning!! All fairy tales have rough starts)

In an old, run-down junior high school building...

There was a Graphic Arts class...

For 8th graders only...

I don't remember the first time I saw him. But I do remember when he became really annoying and obnoxious. He was mid-height, scrawny, lanky and mean. I was not impressed. I did not like this self-starter boy who teased me about my projects and ignored me when I tried to talk to him.

Fortunately Graphic Arts was only 1 semester, and the annoying boy was soon dismissed and forgotten.

One year later...

I'm sitting in the high school swim team room, anxiously hoping I can make the team. I'm nervous, a freshman, hopelessly insecure - and then I notice the annoying boy is sitting on the other side of the room. He's also trying to make the team.

Things went down-hill from there.

For 2 years I'm subjected to this boy on a swim team that would otherwise be rather enjoyable. Long bus trips to swim meets far away suddenly became a lesson in strategic placement - don't sit near the boy. An assistant coach pulls me aside to say the boy is only doing this because he likes me. Absolutely nuts. Before the year is out, I retaliate by throwing a pair of his swim trunks in the pool gutter and toss his most beloved Toronto Blue Jays hat out the door. It's obvious now the boy doesn't like me either.

Fortunately, I moved away. He stayed. And the boy was ancient history.

6 Weeks

2011-01-07T17:55:00.019-07:00

It's been 6 Weeks since the Little Pirate arrived. 6 Weeks means a few things.

I can do this again...

And this...

And I'm 3 months closer to putting these back on...

6 Weeks has never looked so good.

Current instrumental work-out play list documented below. (Yes, I love Hans Zimmer) Do you have anything to add? Would love recommended songs.

Aggressive Expansion - Hans Zimmer (The Dark Knight)
And I Thought My Jokes Were Bad - Hans Zimmer (The Dark Knight)
Assets & Targets - John Powell (Bourne Ultimatum)
Chateau - Rob Dougan (Matrix Reloaded)
Furious Angels - Rob Dougan (Matrix Reloaded)
Go - Andy Hunter (The Italian Job) - perfect for a sunrise workout
He's a Pirate - Klaus Badelt (Pirates of the Carribean)
Mombasa - Hans Zimmer (Inception)
National Treasure Suite - Trevor Rabin
Time to Get Out - David Arnold (Quantum of Solace)
Training Montaine - Rocky IV
503 - Joshua Bell & Hans Zimmer (Angels and Demons)
Time - Hans Zimmer (Inception)

The Best Christmas Gift

2010-12-27T11:23:00.007-07:00

2:00 AM, Christmas Eve morning.

Little Pirate and his Mom are in the ER at Primary Children's Hospital. His fever is 101. He's not eating very well. His white blood cell count is WAY below normal levels for a newborn.

Mom has had 1 hour of sleep in the past 24 hours. They've just told her they need to admit the Little Pirate, insert an IV in his tiny hand and do a spinal tap in his back.

When Mom shows some reluctance to admit the Little Pirate, the ER dr. declares he could easily call Child Protection Services and they will back him (not Mom).

Welcome to my version of hell.

36 long, humbling, prayerful, restless hours later, we finally get the good news...the Little Pirate (and Mom) can go home.

Coming home...best Christmas gift...ever. (and yes, the picture doesn't lie. I'm exhausted.)

Sneak Peak

2010-12-17T10:59:00.006-07:00

Chistmas cards are coming...

They're late. But they're coming.

Favorite Christmas Music

2010-12-09T07:50:00.005-07:00

I am picky about Christmas music.

I just am.

The stuff they play in retail stores this time of year can drive you bananas. And the very worst of it all...Country Christmas music.

(shuddder...)

So for those purists like myself who need real Christmas music - here are my top 3 recommended Christmas albums.

#1 - George Winston's December

This one is such a classic - you can actually start listening to it before Thanksgiving and through Christmas without starting to feel that twitch on the side of your face. The Holly and the Ivy is my favorite piece here.

#2 - Amy Grant's Home for Christmas

You could rightfully argue this album comes close to Country. For me, Grant's voice supersedes all that nonsense and gets right to the heart of Christmas. There are so many good ones here - esp my favorite, Grown Up Christmas List - which I can't contemplate too deeply these days or I start crying...

#3 - David Tolk, Holiday

How to begin here? This album is simply spectacular. It's almost on a continual play loop at our home because we never tire of Tolk's interpretations of traditional holiday carols.

Side Note - Tolk's album contains my favorite Christmas carol of all time - Il est Ne le Divin Enfant. Check it out on iTunes - it's peaceful, heartwarming and brings a delightful spirit into our home.

What NOT to do Post Partum

2010-12-03T15:54:00.008-07:00

I've been fortunate to never have the "baby blues" in abundance. But I'm definitely not completely immune. For those women out there who are headed towards this phase of life, here are my 3 bits of wisdom.

#1 - Put away your Joni Mitchell.

Reasure yourself this is only temporary. But during these initial weeks the bittersweet, poetic lyrics of Ms. Mitchell are not what you'll be wanting to hear. Be especially careful of The Circle Game - (listen below) the chorus will get you every time.

#2 - Avoid watching early 1980s Mormon commercials. In particular - do NOT watch the segment that starts at 4:36. Very dangerous for us women with sensitive hormones right now...

#3 - Try not to contemplate eternal relationships or anything serious. In other words, try not to let your emotions run wild while watching your amazing husband mop floors and clean your bathroom because you cant get out of bed yet...

Keep things light. There will plenty of time for serious introspection and gratitude later.

He is Ours

2010-11-27T08:46:00.019-07:00

I have struggled through a lot of questions during this pregnancy. Why did the Little Pirate come to us? Why 4 instead of 3? Is this part of our family's great, eternal plan? Why didn't he go to one of a dozen couples I know who are desperately trying to have a baby? Why now? etc. etc. etc...

So at last he's here, sitting in my arms, sticking his tongue out and making worried-lined-forehead faces at me - and I still don't have all my questions answered. Except one - I know he is ours.

Unconditionally, completely, gratefully ours.

We're Ready...

2010-11-19T17:34:00.010-07:00

...not really.

Truth be told, I'm scared to death when I think about four. And a boy.

Rooms must now be shared.

Current negotiation tactics will be tested.

Cereal will disappear faster.

More people will look at us with disdain (a.k.a "the look")

And there will be even more bathroom near-misses to clean up. Ugh!

Reminds me of a line from Emmylou Harris - My kingdom for a lullaby.

My Favorite Book

2010-11-12T08:09:00.002-07:00

When people ask me what my favorite book is - there is absolutely no hesitation in my reply. I was required to read How Green Was My Valley by Richard Llewellyn 15 years ago for a summer of Honors English in Charlottesville, Virginia. Since then my increasingly dilapidated copy with dozens of markings and notes has never been far from me.

This book is like scripture - with prose and detail and characters who feel like they're my own ancestors talking to me.

Be warned - this book is not for the casual reader. It takes time to fall in love with it. And without exception, I have cried at the end with every single reading. Never fails.

I have MANY favorite passages. So here are just a few -

"I never met anybody whose talk was better than good food."

"Indeed, if happiness has a smell, I know it well, for our kitchen has always had it faintly."

"I am Angharad Morgan, " she said, and the river never ran colder. "Go to hell."

"Think to have small children in your own likeness standing at your knee, and to know them as flesh of your flesh, blood of your blood, looking to you for guidance as you look to God the Father for yours. Can that be anything but terrible, in majesty and in beauty beyond words?"

"O, there is lovely to feel a book, a good book, firm in the hand, for its fatness holds rich promise, and you are hot inside to think of good hours to come."

"But you have gone now, all of you, that were so beautiful when you were quick with life. Yet not gone, for you are still a living truth inside my mind. So how are you dead, my brothers and sisters, and all of you, when you live with me as surely as I live myself?"

Feeling Appreciated

2010-11-05T09:25:00.007-06:00

Last night I had to attend a multi-hour stake auxiliary training meeting.

We also had the missionaries over for dinner.

There was leftover homework chaos in the kitchen.

I left Greg with the kids for bedtime.

Perfect scenario for a multi-mega disaster area when I got home. Because even though I'm desperately in love with my husband, I know what can happen under these circumstances.

This morning I was the ideal image of a grumbling, angry housewife (imagine Marge Simpson). When the final straw seemed to be landing on the camel's back, Our Big Guy came through and rationally explained while he polished off his last bowl of cereal -

"You see Mom, you weren't here."

And then I realized - at least my family gets it. They know the value of Mom. Greg is without a doubt the head of our home. But I know - and everyone else who lives here knows - Mom keeps the wheels rolling in the background. And when Mom is gone and the wheels slow down - or in worst case scenarios - come to a screeching halt - it's nice to know they recognize who can get everything working again.

So the rampage is over. Still need to scrub off food from plates that didn't get rinsed off last night. But my family is thrilled to have me home :)